Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
Randomize
