then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
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