What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
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