I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
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