never play flip cup with pint glasses
Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
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