i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
Randomize
