Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize
