I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
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