I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
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