So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
Randomize
