if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
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No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
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She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
Do you know who changed all my phone contacts into characters from Harry Potter?
He Who Must Not Be Named.
Fuck you.
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