Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
Also. After puking outside of the bar last night, some guy (who saw me puking) said I looked like Jennifer Lawrence, called me J Law, got my number and is now texting me. Who knew puking and rallying would do me any good
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
Randomize
