I wannas sexs uuuuu
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
I hate closet cases. I've been wooing this chick the entire quarantine. We finally meet up tonight, we're two drinks in, I've got my hand half way up her skirt and her husband calls. She promised to bring home dinner.
Randomize
