I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
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