you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
You're having sex and i just smoked and made oatmeal...i'll give you some time to be jealous
If you dedicate your next bite to me, I'll dedicate my first orgasm to you.
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
Randomize
