I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
Michael Bay diarrhea
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
I was so drunk at your wedding that Uber is now showing up in my Spotify recent searches.
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
Randomize
