Woke up this morning to a janitor hitting me in the head with his bucket in the hallway of my building. An alumni was next to me because we locked ourselves out of my room and couldn't figure out where my roommates were.
i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
Randomize
