I just woke up surrounded in unopened snacks
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
Randomize
