i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
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