Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
