are you so shy because you have an std?
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
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