OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
A bitchslap is in order.
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
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