I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
You ruined the universe
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Randomize
