I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
Winning the lottery was the best thing that ever happened to my penis.
Greatest pickup line ever: "We are out celebrating winning the lottery."
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
Randomize
