Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
Randomize
