Everytime she opens her mouth it's like a fucking terrorist attack on my life.
omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
Randomize