I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
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