he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
Randomize
