Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
I woke up to three texts telling me to "go fuck myself," a panicked voicemail from my mom, and a girl thanking me... I'm not sure which I should take care of first
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
Randomize
