Just saw a homeless guy with a sign that said "Family abducted by aliens. Need money for ransom" and on the back of the sign it said "And it's only $.88"
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
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