I'm drunk at The Bachelor casting call in Cleveland
I cherish every text you send me
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heβs Upset Because People Told His Mom
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... π―πππ
Do I even want to know?
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later heβs sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
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