I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
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