even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
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