I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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