DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
Randomize
