i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
Randomize
