So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
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