Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
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