that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
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