I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
Randomize
