She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
Randomize
