Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
Im just a social blackout drinker.
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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