he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
Randomize
