so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
Someone stole a lamp last night.
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
So I was at my annual OBGYN appointment and when she saw the bruises on the inside of my thigh she asked if I had been horse back riding...I think my burst of laughter then awkward silence answered the question for me.
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
Randomize
