How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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