I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
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