It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
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Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
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This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
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