Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
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