batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
You were face down in the punch bowl, humming the theme to jaws
That explains the stains on my shirt
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
Randomize