If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
i went to go through my sent box of drunk texts from last night and they were all deleted... i'm going to assume drunk me made the executive decision that sober me would be better off not knowing what they said
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
what is it with giant penises always finding me
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
Randomize
