curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
