Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize