OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
I want Samuel L. Jackson to stand beside me and narrate my morning shits.
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
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