is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
you're close to getting here right? Because if you're still not here and I have to get dressed to answer the door for the pizza guy, i'm tipping him $100 on your credit card to spite you
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
Randomize
