glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
Randomize
