i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
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