so i stopped by cvs on the way home this morning, turns out hallmark doesnt make an im sorry my friend puked on your friend card, call me if were still speaking
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
Randomize
