'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
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