I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
Randomize
