the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
Randomize
