this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
And despite my lack of successful relationships I'm a fucking guru
That's like claiming you're a good coach but going 2-12 last season
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Randomize
