im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
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