I feel like abortions should bother me more
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
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